I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
