It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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