I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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