you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
