i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
