Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
