a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize