i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
