Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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