my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
