quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
