"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
