I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
