Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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