last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
