He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
