Whod you bang
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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