I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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