Texts From Last Night

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  (979): View more from Texas

  I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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  (979): I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME http://tfl.nu/ljwk
  Replies (35) Good night (1162) Bad night (4488)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.

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  (612): Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy. http://tfl.nu/a2lr
  Replies (72) Good night (1218) Bad night (4686)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

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  (509): Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that. http://tfl.nu/jsxj
  Replies (10) Good night (5807) Bad night (1759)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  lets call myth busters

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  (305): i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot (1-305): lets call myth busters http://tfl.nu/n34m
  Replies (23) Good night (6507) Bad night (1633)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.

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  (704): Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people. http://tfl.nu/g4iv
  Replies (6) Good night (3758) Bad night (916)
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  (212): View more from New York

  we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy

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  (212): we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy http://tfl.nu/2r3y
  Replies (6) Good night (3033) Bad night (1874)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls

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  (716): i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls http://tfl.nu/crru
  Replies (8) Good night (2375) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.

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  (404): I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity. http://tfl.nu/w9sj
  Replies (12) Good night (1996) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.

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  (937): we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order. http://tfl.nu/a6f0
  Replies (8) Good night (1638) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?

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  (201): We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend? http://tfl.nu/y0ae
  Replies (10) Good night (992) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.

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  (513): I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate. http://tfl.nu/7b4m
  Replies (1) Good night (958) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers

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  (248): I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers http://tfl.nu/pmtt
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?

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  (360): why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends? http://tfl.nu/xe6r
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.

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  (818): Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy. http://tfl.nu/efkg
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."

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  (530): I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them." http://tfl.nu/ps6s
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (367)

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