i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
