yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.