Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.