Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(855): View more from

somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs

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(855): somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs http://tfl.nu/4p1d

Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (509)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.

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(920): Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later. http://tfl.nu/9vwo

Replies (4) Good night (2192) Bad night (614)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

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(905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p

Replies (19) Good night (925) Bad night (3282)
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(850): View more from Florida

I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.

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(850): I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken. http://tfl.nu/xxkh

Replies (23) Good night (4565) Bad night (795)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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(570): I was literally just a half conscious dildo. http://tfl.nu/oo11

Replies (16) Good night (4444) Bad night (1497)
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(940): View more from Texas

Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

(1-940): View more from Texas

I don't have a cat..?

(940): View more from Texas

Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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(940): Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night (1-940): I don't have a cat..? (940): Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge. http://tfl.nu/uym0

Replies (13) Good night (1565) Bad night (5191)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?

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(616): Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by? http://tfl.nu/1ke1

Replies (28) Good night (1662) Bad night (7838)
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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

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(360): I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/g0ca

Replies (6) Good night (1479) Bad night (589)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.

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(205): Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes. http://tfl.nu/ntyj

Replies (9) Good night (2502) Bad night (652)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.

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(678): Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out. http://tfl.nu/slt6

Replies (8) Good night (439) Bad night (1388)
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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

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(770): She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college. http://tfl.nu/xmfo

Replies (4) Good night (1751) Bad night (428)
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(619): View more from California

I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands

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(619): I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands http://tfl.nu/vlc3

Replies (4) Good night (1479) Bad night (450)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.

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(201): Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us. http://tfl.nu/sjtk

Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (287)
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(206): View more from Washington

Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"

(1-206): View more from Washington

I feel so bad for your roommate

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(206): Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame" (1-206): I feel so bad for your roommate http://tfl.nu/tybq

Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (235)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?

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(479): Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends? http://tfl.nu/q9dz

Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (573)

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