Dual....:-)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
