i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
