trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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