Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
