you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
