i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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