I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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