She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
