Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
