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All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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