No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
