i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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