what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
