He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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