I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
