so that wasnt chicken after all
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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