If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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