You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize