How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
