would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
