her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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