dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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