my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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