go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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