My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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