just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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