how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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