her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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