Moan for me like Helen Keller
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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