i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
