Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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