that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize