just tell him i said nine months
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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