K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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