Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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