So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
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They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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