i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
