i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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