What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
