is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
