More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I didn't notice because vodka
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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