Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize