The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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