Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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