Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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